November 2009
2 posts
you know that feeling when you know that you have...
only people with blackberries know the luxury of...
October 2009
14 posts
i don't think people really change; i think we...
we were so close. you were my best friend. now,...
i’m not fooling you or anyone else when i say, “i’m over you.” fuck, i’m not even fooling myself.
she will always have something that i don’t and i’m not sure i want it anymore if this is how you want to live i will let you because i’m in no position to play god tonight
why is everything i write about heartbreak? why is everything i write about how you did me wrong or how he is with her and not me every line i write is about who i don’t want to write about anymore and if that’s the case, why do i continue to do it? i guess it’s a habit knowing no one wants to hear this, i do it for myself the only thing i do for myself is write down everything that makes me hurt...
i just wanted to be seen and you saw me. i’m sorry...
it shouldn’t bother me, but it does there is no one i can lean on i made you a crutch, but you can’t help me this time because it’d require something that i don’t have and that is the confidence to tell you how much you mean to me so i’ll sit through it again and you can be tangled in sheets and you whisper things in her ears while i wish it could be mine and i’ll sit with my teenage angst and...
i think she does this to spite me in fact, i know it i can tell by how she looks at me when she touches him like she has something i don’t and she does and she knows it even though she will never admit it and neither will i
there is always that feeling of emptiness that i try to fill with love, lust, books, songs, friends, but no matter what it is still there
my arms are getting weak and my back is bending and snapping from all this i am carrying on my shoulders i do not love you apologizes are broken promises how far does sorry go when you end up all alone?
my tongue is dripping white and it pools in my hands as i reluctantly show them to you but you take hold of them and let it stick to you like glue but it goes unnoticed and all my white lies crawl up your arms and pry their way into your open mouth seep through your eyes follow your ears and make their way inside you to live until the truth evicts them and my hands, they will never scrub clean
this is all beginning to seem so unreal and i’ve always been told that god would never send anything that you couldn’t handle but i think he overestimated this time
this wave is to big and i’ll probably never make it back to shore the current is pulling me under and all that i need is a hand and i watch as the tide brings in everything i once was and somewhere beneath the salty surface i am new...
being alone isn’t just lacking a hand to hold or not having someone stroke your hair and tell you everything is going to be okay when they know it isn’t and it’s not missing someone telling you how perfect you really aren’t. i am surrounded by people everyday but as the crowd increases i withdraw i believe that the only way to cure loneliness is to actually be alone so i’ll walk as far as this...