keeping it up.

it shouldn’t bother me,
but it does
there is no one i can lean on
i made you a crutch, but
you can’t help me this time
because it’d require something
that i don’t have
and that is the confidence to
tell you how much you mean to me
so i’ll sit through it again
and you can be tangled in sheets
and you whisper things in her ears
while i wish it could be mine
and i’ll sit with my teenage
angst and pretend this isn’t
killing me